August 21, 2008 at 12:32 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Well I finally dragged myself to the Psychiatrist today. It only took 3 years… yeah that long. We had a really long talk, I figured it would be a half hour then I’d get some pills but it ended up being much longer, almost 2 full hours of him investigating my feelings… really trying to figure out what’s “wrong” with me.

I’m glad I got the doctor I did, he didn’t push me too much he really just wanted to know what was going on. I cried a few times, mostly I fidgety¬† and nervous. I always feel ill going into it. Like maybe I’m really normal and I just think I’m fucked up and I’m a cry baby….

What I got was not a “You’re ok really” I was kind of surprised by the diagnosis(a bit)… it was decided I have depression(what I went for) but also anxiety, an eating disorder and what most surprised me was PTSD… that shocked me because well… I figured the nightmares were normal and the stress was normal.

I guess it is… for a girl that was raped then in an abusive relationship. I don’t know why that surprised me it just did… a lot. But I guess I’m kind of getting treated for that in therapy.

There is also a possible diagnosis for ADD… we’ll see how the Prisiq makes me. I feel a bit calmer already, but then I’m sitting here watching the olympics and writing this blog at the exact same time.

I don’t know if it’s a side effect or if the Prisiq is making me feel better already, however everything seems very bright, like colorful everything looks. Everything seems much more clear to me, so strange.

I just took my first pill today, we’ll see if there are any side effects tomorrow. Hopefully not, I’d like for once to get on a medication and not have to have it adjusted. If this doesn’t take care of my what seems like always racing thoughts and need to do a million things at once I’ll start on a small dose of aderall in a month. I’m looking forward to linear thoughts.

On a sad note: Stephanie Tubbs-Jones died today, what a loss to the country. She was a fantastic Congress woman(my congress woman actually) She will be missed


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